When is it OK to Die?

I was so saddened by Robin Williams’ shocking death by suicide on 8/11/14. I’ve been following him and his movies since I first saw him on Mork & Mindy in 1978. He was like a precious funny friend, whose manic performances were infectious and heart-opening. He not only could make people laugh, but he could make them think. He was the kind of human being that knowing he was out there mirroring for us made the world a better place. He was the proverbial Jester, a revered and powerful archetype.

I can understand how this life, this reality became too much for him. He seemed extremely sensitive with a very big spirit that may have become too confined. Maybe the demands and responsibilities of being a human and a celebrity became too much. Maybe his soul needed release. Maybe he was being called home. After all, wasn’t he really a visitor from another planet? Nanoo Nanoo!

If the funniest man alive can kill himself, where does that leave those who feel like they’re living on the edge about to fall off; those who may feel despair from living in an ever more violent, inequitable and unjust world; those aggrieved and outraged at the magnitude of man’s destruction of our home planet; or those terminally ill and suffering who cannot see a way out for themselves except through more suffering?

In a consciously evolved society, if one’s suffering became too great, surely we would have the right to die on our own terms without it being judged as cowardly, selfish or a call for intervention. I am ashamed to live in a gun-loving, arms-dealing culture that manufactures and hoards hideous killing devices that are used daily to kill others, but we’re not allowed to kill ourselves. We are forbidden to die with grace and dignity on our own terms except in three states. Oregon, Washington and Vermont now have Death with Dignity laws that “allow ‘mentally competent’, terminally-ill adult residents to voluntarily request and receive a prescription medication to hasten their death.” But what about the non-terminally-ill who want out?

I am wondering, if religion or laws didn’t interfere and we were allowed to die safely by injection or cocktail, if we would actually do it. What if, for example, Robin Williams felt desperate and wanted to die and he had a safe and caring place to go or someone to come to him that could assist him, if he would have chosen death. Maybe he just needed a safe and honored place to release his grief and anguish and just rest. Having the option to die peacefully and intentionally could actually buy time, as most suicides are fairly violent acts of transient desperation and shame. Allowing the desperate moment to pass, knowing one still had the option to die consciously and nonviolently, I believe would greatly empower us to live more fully with grace and mercy.

In order to evolve, we first need to confront our fear of death and accept the fact that death will not escape any of us. Not all of us will want to live until a ripe or rotting old age. So, we need to honor and accept those who want an early exit. If we were allowed a conscious choice in the matter and could be open with loved ones about our feelings, I believe we might have less violence, less grief and have a greater capacity to live and love more fully.

These words from Robin Williams’ 1996 movie, "Jack," now seem more poignant than ever: "Please, don't worry so much, because in the end, none of us have very long on this Earth. Life is fleeting. And if you're ever distressed, cast your eyes to the summer sky when the stars are strung across the velvety night. And when a shooting star streaks through the blackness, turning night into day... make a wish and think of me. Make your life spectacular. I know I did."