Let's Die Laughing!

I have great sadness and perplexity towards people who are kept alive in nursing homes to avoid the final exit. I imagine that dying can be painful and dramatic but, surely, death is a sweet finale to long days, months or years of suffering.

So, why not wake up before we die?! Let’s dance, laugh, weep, howl at the moon, consume less and play more and share the depths of our being with those we love! Our time here is so brief, so why not celebrate being here until its end?!

When death finally does call, it needn’t be horrific. As a child of the 60s now nearing Medicare age, I am grateful that my generation is having the conversation about dying and end-of-life “plans” that we’d like instituted on our own terms. Death with dignity or right to die is becoming the movement of the day. We shouldn’t even be fighting for this right to die peacefully and consciously, but we live in a fearful world oppressed by religious dogma that wants to control how others live and die.

Andrew Weil, in his book, “Healthy Aging”, speaks about “compressed morbidity—to squeeze or compress the time horizon between the onset of chronic illness or disability and the time in which a person dies.” In other words, the ideal is to live well and fully until the very last days or weeks and then go swiftly. Katy Butler says it best in an enlightening article, “Five Questions for Katy Butler”: “Practice renunciation sooner rather than later. Be willing to die too soon rather than too late. Imagine your ideal death: music, friends, photos, flowers…” It's never too soon to plan!

I have known people, including family members who have chosen “elongated morbidity”. They have unconsciously chosen to die slowly, painfully and grasping for more pain meds and medical interventions to avoid the inevitable. It’s essentially an individual decision on how one chooses to live and die. However, those decisions have an impact on others, where one can become a burden and sometimes a menace to family, friends and the community.

I certainly do not want to linger or be a burden to anyone! I want to die awake, aware and preferably laughing. I want to have choice over when and how I depart. I have my medical directives. I’m looking into starting a new business venture called “Let’s Die Laughing,” because this is what I would like for myself and my loved ones. As an end-of-life doula or death coach I could help the dying find joy and meaning as they prepare for the greatest journey one will ever experience on this Earth plane, second to birth. Why not prepare now?!

Please see Compassion & Choices https://www.compassionandchoices.org, a national organization instrumental in helping death with dignity legislation get passed in Washington, Oregon, Vermont and Montana. California is about to sign into law their End of Life Act.