Barely Here Because I’m Partly There—For Those Standing at the Edge of Paradox
Do you ever have the feeling
that you’re barely here because you’re partly there? One thought here, one
thought there? I go through my day fairly efficiently, take care of business appropriately,
meet my obligations and show up for my appointments. I have excellent focus
when I’m one on one in intimate conversation, especially in my clinic, and
hyper-focus when I’m stimulated emotionally or mentally. However, I am
challenged by 3-D “consensus reality” and have difficulty transitioning from my
home out into the world. Do you ever experience that and question WTF?
One reason I feel that I’m
barely here is that I have a questionable memory. Oh, you, too? I have
difficulty recollecting details. I rely on others to fill in the blanks and
give me the names of book and movie titles I have forgotten. Is it the aging
process, too many drugs in the 60s, that my brain is full or that I don’t
really give a shit? I figure if you’re over 60 and survived living in the 60s,
you’re exempt!
Since I am not
detail-oriented, if you give me too much information or ramble on, I am liable
to check out and go to that someplace else. I’m more emotionally oriented and interested
in the “big picture”. I am stimulated by abstract concepts, worldly trends and
how our culture is being affected by astrological, political, social and
climactic influences. I love to talk about all the possibilities and don’t need
to have an answer. I’m more interested in the question and take respite in the
cosmic joke.
I often feel as though I’m
not from Earth, that I’m an alien witness here to observe an awesomely
beautiful planet with its very strange and unpredictable human life form. I
presume that my home planet—of peace, love and equality—runs on a higher
frequency, which is surely why I talk fast and can have tangential thoughts and
speech. I figure I’ve been programmed as a spatial or circular thinker, which
can be challenging for “linear” thinkers who need to get to the point.
To my relief, I have remedied
much of the materialistic, outer dissonance through writing, running through my
revered desert arroyo and consulting the Akashic Records. I find comfort in
being able to travel the realms through my mind and the Records. Sharing deep
thoughts with other cosmic travelers is essential for my sanity and growth.
Of course I feel like I’m
barely here because I am an infinite soul that travels the multiverse while navigating
a finite and aging human vessel! I am learning to become more present to the
moment-to-moment dance of sensation, thought and emotion. I find respite in
wide-open spaces and the endless sky. I feel like I am an Akashic pioneer
traveling a different terrain and am learning how to live life on earth as
lightly and creatively as possible.
Thankfully, I am not alone
on my journey of integration and self-transcendence. There are so many others
working diligently to transform themselves and this planet. It may sometimes feel
very uncomfortable, lonely and confusing, but I am trusting that feeling barely
here is to experience existential growing pains on the grand evolutionary
journey of consciousness. It’s a mind-blowing thought that consciousness is
enfolded in each and every cell as well as within every galaxy of the universe!
It just reminds me that I’m essentially here, there and everywhere…and so are
you!
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